Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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