My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
