I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
