my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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