when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I woke up under a house in Key West
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