I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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