Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have fence marks all over my body
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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