i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
