He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
