What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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