Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
