I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
