My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
