hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
