i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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