She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I bet he comes in French.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
