More tranny stories later!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
two words: eviction party
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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