Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
