Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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