I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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