there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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