i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
