Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
