Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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