how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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