before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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