Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
