Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
