I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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