SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
