I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
not ubering you a puppy
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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