I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
