I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
