Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
