how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
