just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
