I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
