Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
