That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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