I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize