I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
