Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
