he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
this will be a night to untag.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
