i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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