I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
