I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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