seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
