Need sex. Gaining weight.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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