Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
