i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
