well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
