Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
