i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize