we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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