Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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