Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i now understand why vodka
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
