I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
