I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
