You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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