C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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