Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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