i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
