do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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