TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
